Third Place: Irashaimasseh!
Whenever you go into any place that sells anything in Japan, the first thing you hear as you walk in the door is "IRASHAIMASSEH!!!!" from every person working at the establishment. This would be fine, if they did it once. Instead they continue to say it in a very irregular and disjointed chant as people move in and out of the store. Soon you start to wonder if these people know any other words, or perhaps they are selected for the rate at which they can say this simple word of greeting in ways that sound friendly, scornful, and alarmed at the same time. I've started eating healthier as a result of my aversion to this dirge of welcome, as I've started to avoid conbinis(convenience stores) like a germophobe attempts to avoid swine flu.
Second Place: My brakes
Now this may be a completely accurate sweeping generalization, but I will say it anyway, each and every bike in this nation wants to either rob me of my hearing by the end of this year or give me heart attack. For one, each bike seems to try to retaliate against those who ride them in the form ear-splitting screams from their brakes. Sometimes I think I would rather crash into a bush, car, or even a friend who seems sturdy enough rather then apply the breaks and permanently sacrifice a bit more of my hearing. Second is that many people use this scream as an alert that they are about three feet behind you and traveling at full speed. Whenever this happens I franticly look to each side and jump behind the nearest large object.
First Place: Japanese Junior High Girls
Thats right. Coming in first place is the typical junior high girl, and for good reason. Why are these the scariest things in Japan? They have power, and they know it. A friend of mine claims to have witnessed the way which these girls get popular and rid themselves of bullies, and it is very bad for the foreigner involved. On the subway if they are being picked on they look for a foreigner traveling alone to accuse, then they get close and scream about the dirty minded foreigner touching them. Word travels up the train and the train is ordered not to stop. The police are then mobilized to the next stop and the bewildered foreigner is taken off the train without even a chance to defend themselves, essentially jailed on the whims of a school girl. Now you see why I have devised complicated systems of checking whether the car I am about to walk onto has any of these girls on it, and why I switch cars immediately if there are any in my vicinity.
OK, This post has taken forever, but it's good to chip away at my idea pile, if only a little. I like ending with a video, and people seemed to like the last one, so here's another one along those lines.
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Japan Time! Japanese Word of the Day!
English: Scary!
Japanese:こわい
Pronunciation: koh-wah-ii
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Best Wishes,
Dan
